Out of sorts again today

I have been noticing that for the past several weeks, on and off, that Tony will be acting a little strange. When I ask him about it, he just says he is feeling "out of sorts", as he puts it. Delving a little bit deeper, I would question him as to why, he thinks he might be feeling this way. 

At first, I thought it might have something to do with his medications that he takes, and so I would ask if he was remembering to take them, and he would say that he is. So questioning  a little deeper, I would ask what he thought it was. He said that all he thinks about, 24/7 is Jennifer. Her life, mistakes we made, all the extra hours he used to work, at his two jobs, all that time he now regrets, as time away from her. From her and I. 

The second job he did, was cleaning carpets with an older man who he had worked for in the past. All the times that the man wouldn't pay him, saying that he would put the money he owed him towards a college fund for Jennifer. The man at one point, bought a truck, that was for the business, but that it would be Tony' s to drive every day, whether he was working for the man or not. 

Unfortunately, several years later, we found out that it was all a lie. One night, a year or so before Tony finally stopped working for the man, the man came by our home, late in the evening, demanding the truck. I told him Tony wasn't home yet from his regular job, and he could come in and wait. He then started ranting and raging about how the truck was always supposed to be there at our house, for whenever he might want to use it. This was at 9:30 at night, and I remember asking him to please be quiet, as Jennifer was sleeping. I finally had to ask him to leave, and that Tony would call when he got home, as he had woken up Jennifer. (I think she was around four or so at the time). 

Needless to say, that was the end of the truck, and I remember thinking good riddance to the whole thing! We never saw any of the money the man owed Tony, or any college fund. But Tony now blames himself for all of that mess. 

It seems that he is picking apart our lives, from the babysitters we left her with, (and the first one was a real doozy, but that's another story) and all the time he spent away from us, even though I tell him he was trying to give us a better life, he doesn't want to hear that. All he feels is all the guilt he places upon himself. (Unjustly, in my mind.)

So today was one of those out of sorts days. I finally made him get up, gave him his glasses, and told him he had to read a chapter of the book I mentioned yesterday. "We don't die, a skeptics guide to the afterlife". 

We shall see what tomorrow brings.