Oh, My Jennifer

Why does this get harder and harder? This pain more gut wrenching, more difficult to bear with each passing day?  

Tomorrow will be exactly eleven months since you left. How can that be? In just one more short month it will be a year. I miss you more acutely with each passing day.  Daddy and I are still here, in the same place where you took your last breath. Where your heart stopped beating. We are still here, still wishing, with all our hearts that you could come walking in the door.

We pray together, each and every night, for God to help us. But mostly we pray for Him to take good care of you. To keep you safe and happy, to keep you in His loving arms, to never, ever let pain or any unhappiness touch you ever again. 

I hope you hear us, when we talk to you. Whether it be out loud, or in our hearts and minds. I always hope that our own pain doesn't cause you any distress. We are still grieving for you, and probably will be forever. You are and always will be the breath we breathe.

We are trying, my baby. Each day when we awaken once again, we get up and we try. To live this life that doesn't seem to matter much anymore. Without you, it is hard to make anything matter any longer. 

Without you, we are just exhisting.