Didn't have a good night last night. Was up and down most of the night. I would "sleep" a couple of hours, then was up again. I forgot to eat dinner, but we had had a late lunch, and so after Tony went to bed, I stayed up for a while. I managed to choke down a few crackers, with some cheese and some ham on them.
I haven't been keeping up with my emails like I usually do, so I started in on that first.
First I deleted the ones relating to my Facebook account, as I could go there later to get that caught up. Then I went through the ones that I have folders for, checking them first, and if needed, placed stars on the ones I would want to have a closer look at later, then filing them. There really wasn't any that needed a response to, so it didn't take to long to get caught up.
Really, it was just busy work, trying to keep myself and my thoughts occupied.
Most days lately I find it hard to even summon up any energy to do any thing. All around me/us are the constant torment of the upcoming holidays.
For example, today I had a doctor's appointment, just for some medication refills. I was "OK", until they called me back to the exam room, where your blood pressure, etc is checked, and charted. All around me are decorations for Christmas. Well, I pretty much went from being "OK", to tear filled eyes. And not a damn tissue in sight!
The tech commented that my pulse was a little fast, and blood pressure a little high. At that point I simply told him that my daughter had died almost a year ago, and I was having difficulties with the holidays. We left it at that.
I saw the doctor, got my prescriptions, scheduled my next appointment, and got the hell out of there as fast as I could.
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