Nothing can prepare you for it when it hits. I feel like I've been hit by a train. Got up a little later than I usually do, had breakfast even though I really don't want to eat at all. Later down on the couch for a while reading, but with the stupid TV on also, just for noise. Tony had been up for a while, so he went back to bed.
I got myself together and went to the store, we needed milk and a few other necessities. The store was packed, people getting ready for Thanksgiving. We have nothing to be thankful for. Nothing in my/our life is worth anything.
Had a major, major meltdown today. Could not stop crying. The tears fell and fell. Tony is begging me to stop, but I can't. My whole body is racked with my sobs. I feel so much pain, from all the way down to my soul. I have lost my child. I miss her desperately.
My eyes shed many many tears, but my heart and soul are bleeding.
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