It should have been expected, our path now always seems to be fraught with potholes or fallen trees blocking the path all together temporarily. What started out as, "ok, this is just a little minor bump in the road", turned into a "now what" kind of day that rapidly headed way south.
The first phone call arrived with, the physical therapist is here, but the back brace that should have been ordered and already here, has in fact not been ordered, therefore no physical therapy could continue without it. So instead of him beginning to try sitting up, being able to go to the restroom, etc. he isn't to get out of bed without it...wasted some time towards his recovery. I stayed with him through most of the day, he is exhausted...it is close to impossible to sleep in a hospital, and it is really beginning to worry me.
So about 3pm I left for a few hours, I had to get to the pharmacy before they closed and I still had to get those few things from the store I hadn't gotten to the night before. So I told him to just try and nap and I would be back around dinner time. I finished my errands, went home and started a load of wash, and relaxed a bit watching TV. My back started to really hurt pretty bad, so I took some medicine and went to lay down on my heating pad on my bed. I was laying there for about 20 minutes or so, when Tony called. He said a case manager had come by and was asking him if he was ready to go home now? lt had been less than 48 hours since my husband had had pretty major back surgery. He of course is asking me if he has to go home? I simply told him no, you are not ready yet. You haven't had physical therapy yet.
When I arrived back at the hospital, I went into his room and was sitting next to him when I noticed how bloated his stomach was. I asked him if it hurt and he said he really couldn't tell, his back was killing him. I still didn't think it looked right, so I went to find his nurse. Unfortunately they were right in the middle of changing shifts, so I grabbed the first one I saw available and made her come look at his stomach. She said it looked swollen, and started asking him questions. Then she said she wanted to scan his bladder. Long story short, he hadn't been really peeing, and there was so much urine in there the scanner could only indicate it was over a very large amount. So Tony gets another catheter on the spot and fills up a whole bag!
I swear if something is going to go even just a little wrong, it has happened lately. So I ended up staying until really late at the hospital, I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to have to have another catheter. Thankfully he didn't need another one.
I ended up getting home around 11:30 pm, and was just too keyed up to go to bed yet, so I ended up watching TV for a while, when the cutest commercial came on with this little girl that looked exactly like Jennifer at about 2 or 3 years old, and that was all it took. I went from focusing totally on Tony and everything, to sitting there crying. I just sat there...how could I possibly forget about her?
After a few minutes, I calmed down and just went to bed. As I am laying there I told myself I could never, and would never, forget my Jennifer! There had simply been too much going on, and stuff I was worrying about that my mind was focused on all this other stuff, and also I was doing a lot of things by myself. I just got overloaded.
Of course realizing this doesn't ease the pain at all. Nor does it make it go away.
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