When I went to the doctors office on Friday, as I was leaving, I drove past the Wal-Mart grocery store that I always would stop at on my way home from work. Usually because that's when either Tony or I had just gotten paid.
However, over the past several years, it had just become my habit. I preferred going by myself. I would have my list, and even though it was just us three, plus usually one of Jennifer's friends, I always had such a good time. Picking out the turkey...I always bought the same brand every year, and I could only find it at Wal-Mart.
Them I would go aisle by aisle, checking off my list, and most of the time, adding to it. This was just something I enjoyed doing. Every year, Tony would tell me I didn't need to go to so much trouble, but to me, it was never, ever trouble. I loved doing this.
This time last year, this is exactly what I would have been doing. And as I drove by the store, I started to cry. I will never be doing that again. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
The thing is, I don't ever see myself ever doing any of that ever again. I don't want to smell the turkey baking most of the afternoon, the smell in the house, the pies on the counter, telling Tony and Jennifer that they couldn't have any till later.
Now it's all gone.
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