Worried...but trying.

Today Tony had an appointment with his psychiatrist, and the closer to the appointment time, the more upset he was getting. It is a very large practice with several doctors and when you enter there is a main waiting room, which is average size for most doctors waiting rooms, where you sign in and pay your compartment. After that they tell you to go back and each doctor has another smaller waiting room where you wait until the doctor calls you into his office. As we are sitting in this second waiting room, Tony asks me when my intermittent FMLA began, this we had done when I was very ill in August of last year. I am not sure why he is asking me this as it has nothing to do with why we are there, (for Jennifer's death) but it was like he was trying to establish some kind of timeline, for everything that had happened. And he is starting to get more and more worked up as he tries to work this out in his head. But his points of reference is all messed up. He is thinking back to when he had to apply for intermittent FMLA due to my illness, but I think the point he was trying to get across was that this is when the clock started ticking on his own FMLA leave, because they included all the time that he had to take off with me, as I was unable to drive until they could get my blood pressure problems all sorted out. Anyways, to make a long story short, that time, included with the time he lost when the pain got so bad in his leg he couldn't work, (from 6/7/13)  pretty much ate up a lot of his own FMLA.

So I just explained to the doctor, that he didn't have anymore FMLA leave left...at least the kind that protected his job. However, his company has a more "generous" leave you are able to use for up to six months of total time off. 

So the doctor put him on a new medication along with what he is already taking. And today when he went to physical therapy, which is right across the street from where we live (walking distance), I made a call to his HR department and asked, what would happen if he needed to be out longer. We might have to assume the costs of his medical insurance, and I wanted to know what that would cost us. Turns out it's not to bad. We could swing it, it would be tight, but then we were already budgeting for "tight" anyways. I just wanted to have the info should we need it. Better to be prepared right?

Anyways, my whole mindset right now is getting Tony to a better place where he will be better able to take on anymore stress. That is my number one goal right now, as it should be. He would be doing the same for me, if our situations were reversed. I know a lot of people don't understand our situation right now, and that's ok. The only ones who have to understand it, are Tony and myself. 

So I will be where I am supposed to be right now, at his side. And I will be supportive of him, at a time in our lives, when what we need most from each other is that very support. And we will continue to walk this path we are now on, together. 

After all, the vows we took 28 years ago, stated, "for better, and for worse, in sickness and in health." . And that is what we are doing. Being strong for each other. And most importantly just being there for one another. We are the one's who have to find someway of getting through this, and that's what we are doing. Together.