Life''s been a little crazy...

Update...Tony came home from the hospital today, uhh, actually on Thursday, since now it is a new day, but the days are still a bit blurry to me since early since week. 

Anyways, as my previous post stated, on Wednesday we were all set to go, and he suddenly gets a bit frantic, as it dawns on him that we will be going to the ER where Jennifer passed away at. So now he is full on panic attack/overwhelming anxiety at the thought of going there. So I bring him back inside, give him his medicine for this, and I am attempting to get him calmed down. I tell him we will go to a different hospital, one that Jennifer has never been to, this seems to ease some of the anxiety, so I let him lay down for a little while. When he got up we got on our way. I didn't want to give him to much time to start worrying again. 

Unfortunately, to get to the freeway,to go to the other hospital, we had to drive by the street we usually go down to get to the other hospital, and he says, well maybe we should just go there, eventually we are going to have to go there at some point, which is true. It is only about five minutes from where we live. So I just said, yes your right, eventually we will have to do that, but not today.

So to just get right down to it, he ended up getting admitted and they ran a few tests the next day, and everything was looking OK, and the admitting doctor came to talk to us. He really seemed to be getting it, then Tony brought up everything about Jennifer, and I really think that that was all it took for them to stop looking for the "why" of what is going on with him. They all started talking about it being psychological then. 

So he was to have one more test done, an EEG which checks your brain waves, and looks for things like seizures. We waited and waited, till the tech finally gets there, says it takes about an hour to set up and do the test. So the test gets done, and we are then discharged. Never was told results of that test. It was run, we were sent home. Kind of strange to my way of thinking. 

Well tomorrow is another day, we will see what happens next. I will have to watch him closely, and hope and pray for the best. Monday will be busy making doctor appointments, and we have a new bereavement support group we are going to go to. They meet weekly, which I am happy about...much better than once a month. 

I pray all the time for continued strength, for Tony to try hope, instead of despair all the time. Our love for Jennifer will always be as strong as it was on the day she was born. Her physical body may be gone, but she will never be.