Today is cold and rainy, it suits my mood today. Today is really no different then yesterday or the day before or even the day before that. It's just simply yet another day without you.
You.
Not a minute or second goes by when I don't think about you, trying to remember your scent, your voice, your touch, a hug. Today all of it overwhelms me and I fight the tears, trying to choke them back, not really succeeding, as I feel the familiar burn in my eyes and the lump in my throat. I try so hard not to let them fall but fall they must, because I can't contain this grief. It haunts me everyday and night. I don't want to feel this pain. I think about you and all I feel is pain.
Why did you leave me, why were you taken. I am angry and I am tired. I am unable to cope today. So today I will give in to the tears, I have to release some of this mind numbing grief. Today I will be angry....angry at you, angry at me, angry at everyone and everything. I am even angry with God. He knows, I have railed against him many, many times since you left. I know that all of this is all due to the grief. But right now I can't care about that.
All I care about is that you aren't here.
So today, with my mood matching the weather, I will release this storm inside of me, the tears will rain down without stop, my heart aches, I am inconsolable.
I love you. I miss you. I ache to hold you just one more time in my arms. Come back to me Jennifer. I need you.
No comments:
Post a Comment